Hey, uh, this post is a doozy, so bear with me. I'm okay. I've just been taking a break from most of the internet for a multitude of reasons. First of all, my mental health is in a, quite frankly, unacceptable spot right now. I'm not feeling... self-destructive... but it's not looking good. I've made a lot of... incredibly stupid decisions as a result of my mental health and have been a massive asshole to multiple people. I've burnt bridges and upset a lot of people by acting on emotion, or really anything except actual logical thinking. To address the elephant in the room, I'm going through a very messy break-up right now, and I've said some... really nasty things to my ex as a result. I don't want to have any association with them, so I threatened a restraining order if they were to ever try to contact me again (which I should add, they haven't since the break-up)... I don't think I need to tell you what's wrong here. It's like killing an ant with a rocket launcher. He has been freaking out as a result over the past few days, and I feel really horrible... I'm an idiot who can't handle problems well. What he did to me was shitty, sure, but that gives me no ground to make threats, even if non-violent. They're threats, period. You know who you are, and to you, I'm deeply sorry for this and for all hardships I've caused you in the past, and I forgive you for everything you've done to me. I wish you nothing but the best. "He who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy.", Proverbs 28:13 Secondly, I have had a generally unhealthy lifestyle for the past 5 - 6 years and I want that to change. I've heavily relied on the approval of others to make me happy, I'm addicted to caffeine (which amplifies my anxiety like 30 fold), I'm an anti-social shut-in, and I often talk without a filter. I pride myself on being honest, but I often speak without a filter and end up upsetting people. All of this helps contribute to my awful mental health, and I want to change it. I want to achieve self-sufficiency; autarky if you will. I want to be happy with myself, and healthy, both physically and mentally. I'm rebuilding my relationship with the Lord, and I've gotta say, that has been helping a lot. Among that, I've also been learning techniques of coping with my anxiety, and I'm also looking into therapy. With all this said, I'm taking a very extended break from 80% of the internet until I feel healthy and happy enough to return. Being on the internet is honestly extremely draining mentally, and has hindered all of my attempted recoveries over the past few years. This one will not fail. I will make sure of it. I'm going to become the best version of me, and hopefully when I'm back, I hope I can make up for lost time and for all of the hardships I've created. Goodbye for now, and I love you all /p.